Just as you thought your guest list trade-offs couldn’t get any trickier, it’s time to consider who gets a plus-one and who you’re not obligated to oblige.
We totally understand just how difficult it can be to plan your Pinterest-worthy-wedding within that oh-so-important budget. The first step in keeping in budget is analyzing how many guests both your venue and budget can hold. Start by realizing this: Each guest costs money, plus-ones included. So who exactly should get a plus one? We’re here to help you navigate the waters (or at least your guest list).
It’s easy to cut out the spouse of a friend who you’ve never met off the bat, but it’s important to invite both parties in a married couple. Think about it this way, would you want to attend a wedding without your husband/wife? We didn’t think so. It’s also just important to respect the duo as a union – plus, you’ll be in those shoes sooner than you know.
As with your married friend, it’s important to respect and honor their commitment. We live in an age where many couples live together before getting married – if marriage is the end goal at all – so honoring that relationship is the right thing to do. Now that’s not to say there aren’t situations that will require your personal judgement – your 15 year old cousin and his girlfriend for example – but the rule of thumb should be if they’ve dated for over a year, they get a plus-one.
It’s easy to forget about your wedding party when it comes to plus-ones. You’ve spent months with these people, they’ve gotten to know each other, plus you’ll be spending the entire day together on wedding day. But, these people have spent countless hours helping you plan details, spending money on that bridesmaid dress without a complaint, made phone calls when your cake was late, held your dress while you peed – the list is endless. These friends have been there for you the whole way, so it’s a courteous gesture to extend a plus-one to each of your wedding party members – who knows, they might not even accept.
Your childhood bestie moved half way across the country is a guest of honor, but single. Sure, she might know your parents and maybe even your future hubby, but none of you are going to have time to spend with her at your wedding. These important guests who mean the world to you get a plus-one, no questions asked.
Think Cousin Brad who has a new “significant other” every few months. While you love him and respect where he’s at in his own love life adventures, it’s not necessary to give him a plus-one to your wedding. Now that’s not to say it’s not a nice gesture to extend if your budget allows but use your personal judgement on this one.
The subject of coworkers is a tricky group to begin with, even before considering the subject of plus-ones. We think the easiest way to avoid the issue is to skip out on inviting coworkers all together, but we also realize you might have a work bestie or two you’d love to share in your big day. In this case, just invite that person or two you’re close with, without feeling obligated to invite the entire office. Make an effort to keep wedding talk to a minimum, not to hurt anybody’s feelings at work. If you’re only inviting one friend from the office and they won’t know anybody else, give them a plus-one, but if you’re inviting two or more work friends, we think it’s a-okay to skip the plus-ones with this group. Now for your boss, if you choose to invite him or her make sure to add a plus-one to the invite. Chances are they’ll acknowledge the thoughtfulness, politely decline and send a gift to match the gesture.
Here we’re talking about your fiancé’s second cousin he or she hasn’t seen in 10 years. Maybe your future mother-in-law insists they need an invite and to avoid an argument you oblige. We understand that your budget might not allow for every guest to have a plus-one to begin with, so this is a perfect situation of a guest who will know other people so a plus-one just isn’t necessary. We suggest tackling these situations on a case-by-case basis, but make sure to refer back to those ‘hard rules’ we talked about earlier to have your back.
We hope this post helped you gain a better grasp on who should and shouldn’t get a plus one at your wedding. If you’re still in need of a little more guidance on your guest list, check out our post on how to construct an A-list and B-list to maximize your wedding budget.
- WHITNEY, BRIDE
She took an enormous amount of stress off of our shoulders and helped us create the most perfect day of our entire lives. Taylor handled every situation with grace, confidence, and professionalism. I don’t think I’ve ever met a sweeter person, or someone who is able to bring such a calming and peaceful presence to any room she walks into!
"Taylor was our best decision in all of planning!"
- JANET, MOTHER OF THE BRIDE
As a first-time mother-of-the bride, I wanted someone to guide us through the whole process. We thankfully selected the full-package and never worried whether what we were asking was included or not. Taylor was positive, organized and tremendously accommodating, especially as we changed plans 3 times due to COVID.
"Taylor listened and brought my daughter's dreams to life!"
- Alyssa, bride
Taylor was so great to work with from the very beginning! We hired her for day-of planning, yet she went above and beyond to take care of us throughout the entire planning process. You can tell Taylor truly cares about her couples & that was proven by how much energy she invested in us and our making our perfect day happen!
"We felt supported throughout the entire process!"